Imagine running a marathon with your undies in a twist, a noose around your neck, and smoke stinging your eyeballs.
Just how far do you think you’d get before you stumbled, choked, and crashed?
Granted, that scenario might seem too kooky to contemplate, but the truth is, that’s what it’s like when you run the blogging comparathon.
And sooner or later, we all take our turn in that race.
One minute, we’re blogging along, finding our rhythm, setting our pace . . .
And then . . . . . WHOOOOSH!!!
Some bodacious blogger streaks out of nowhere, rockets past us, and leaves us sputtering in a big cloud of dust from::
- his skyrocketing subscriber count.
- her towering traffic stats.
- his dazzling new site design.
- her prolific posting schedule.
- his surging product sales.
And that’s when it happens . . . .
Still hacking up dust, we set out after that sprinting blogger with grim determination. We hadn’t planned on moving this fast or going in this particular direction on our marathon, but we’ll be doggoned if we’re going to let another blogger get a leg up on us.
The trouble is, with all that dust hanging around, we can’t find our footing.
And before we know it, we’re completely off the marathon path and running on the jagged, twisted, comparathon trail. Our inner critic spurs us on from the sidelines, pelting us with verbal abuse for falling behind. So we push on harder and faster until we’re panting, straining, and clutching at our sides.
Bitterness over our position gathers our undies in a painful twist as we limp onward. A noose of unrealistic expectations tightens dangerously around our necks, and thick, acrid smoke from a smoldering pile of envy curls into our eyes.
Ah, yes. Just another day in the blogging comparathon.
Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to get off this comparathon course once and for all.
If you’d like to quit the comparathon too, here’s how to do it:
- See beyond the dust. What exactly was it that kicked up that big cloud of dust and set you off on the wrong trail? Did a fellow blogger post an amazing income or traffic report on their site? Did a blogging friend share news of a boost in subscribers? Did someone you know land a juicy guest post? How did this event make you feel inside? Acknowledging our feelings is the first step towards a healthy course correction.
- Let the air clear. Things are rarely as they appear in a cloud of dust. Once the dust settles, we can see that stats are just numbers, and money is just paper. We’re the ones who give those things meaning in our lives. So, what do things like lots of subscribers, special attention from a pro blogger, or a guest post on a major blog mean to you, really? Do they represent status, freedom, love, or power? Perhaps, they mean prestige, success, or security to you. This isn’t about judging yourself or labeling these things ‘right’ or ‘wrong.’ It’s about touching your truth.
- Get your bearings. Comparing ourselves to others and chasing after their dreams instead of our own can take us far, far off course. Get a fix on your current position by asking yourself a couple more questions–Are you deriving your sense of self-worth from your blog’s performance and the attention that brings? Do you think the world will somehow run out of money and subscribers if you don’t grab your share today? Again, don’t judge yourself or your answers. Just see clearly what you’ve been running towards or from.
- Set a new course. Sit quietly now, and remember your original reasons for blogging. Look back at those original goals and time frames and see if these things still resonate with you. Also consider what you want in other areas of your life in terms of balance, connection with others, good health, etc. Take your time with this process, looking inward and not outward as you make adjustments to find a satisfying, sustaining blogging path on which to run your marathon. Continue to consult your inner compass until you find your own ‘True North.’
- Run your own race. Now, fortified with a strong sense of direction and inner strength, you’re ready to return to the trail and cover the distance in relaxed, powerful strides. Yes, other bloggers will zip past you on a regular basis, but that’s okay. Just wave them on and wish them well. If you feel tempted to catch up with them, read through the questions from up above again, and let those, and your inner compass guide you to blogging victory.
See you on the trail :)
Your turn: Have you ran in the comparathon yet? What was it like for you?
About Jean
Twitter: glynisjolly
says:
I didn’t know your post was here until almost 9 months had gone by. Nevertheless, I sure am glad I decided to read it. I’ve been sitting fretting about how awful my blog is doing instead of doing what I intended on doing, which is write posts and update from behind the scenes on my blog. I didn’t want to care about other blogs and yet that’s exactly what I have been doing for the past 2 weeks. Thank you for bringing me back in the frame of mind I want to be in.
Glynis recently posted..Where Am I Going Actually?
Nice to meet you, Jean! Wonderful perspective.
It helps to remember “who” we’re writing for (our audience) and that “blogger” is just a designation for someone who writes using a “blogging” platform. That’s the advice I give myself when I read stuff about how to measure one’s success, popularity, comment numbers, etc.
Thank you for reminding us to stay true to our own drum beat.
Vernessa Taylor recently posted..Dance A Jig- Build Your Own Unscientific Blogging Scorecard
Thanks for this post, Jean!
It is so easy, in blogging and in many other areas in life, to get caught up in comparing your blog and yourself to others. I have also run this ‘comparathon’ and have come to the conclusion that being content with myself and my abilities is much less stressful! I think you have more fun, too, when you are not constantly worrying about what others are accomplishing seemingly at a way faster rate than you. :)
Thanks again for the great post! It is always nice to know that I am not alone in these sorts of things! :)
You’re definitely not alone, Kim! I have to be on the alert for ‘comparathons’ even when setting my own goals. Sometimes I’ll catch myself setting a goal that ends up being based on an industry standard or someone else’s achievement. When I examine it, I realize that’s not something that resonates with my own creative vision. How easy it is to lean the ladders we climb against the wrong walls!
Jean Sarauer recently posted..Does Your Blog Have an Individual Voice
Hi again all – Jean, this post has come as a breath of fresh air to me at the moment. I’m feeling a bit despondent about how lots of other bloggers in my area seem to be doing so much ‘better’ than me in terms of their subscriber numbers, and then I look at my material and wonder what their secret is, because I can’t discern it.
Again the lesson here is all about enjoying blogging and not getting worried about what other people are or aren’t doing isn’t it
Pete Stean recently posted..The London Blogger Interviews – Week 2
So glad this post could give you a boost, Pete. We all need those! And yes, it really is all about enjoying the blogging process. When we focus on that, things have a way of working out. There are plenty of things we can learn from evaluating other bloggers’ work for clues, but it’s hard to see those things clearly when we’re in comparathon mode. Here’s to ignoring the numbers!
Jean Sarauer recently posted..How to Grow Your Blog With Kindness
I so appreciate this article.
One thing we have to give consideration to is there is always a story behind the story. In my prior industry I would watch people who had been doing their business for 4 or 5 years and when someone new would start they would rocket past them in terms of income and status.
What they may not have seen is the years of hard work that person had been doing prior to starting at their current company. Just like in blogging, you don’t know how much work they had been doing in other area’s “before” they started their new blog.
Many times the comparison game is based on out of context thoughts and stories.
Love this post and you offer some very worthwhile ways of dealing with it. (And stopping it!)
I learned 90% of the time there is a story behind the story you probably aren’t aware of!
Good work thank you!
Tony Teegarden recently posted..The My Guide To Creating More Cash In A Challenging Economy
Hi Tony. Yes, we so rarely know the full story or see all the work (and often hard times) that go into these seemingly overnight successes. I’ve been guilty of that myself. There have been times I thought someone caught a ‘lucky break,’ when in reality there was a lot of planning and preparation that went into their getting into a position where they could catch that break.
Jean Sarauer recently posted..10 Plugins to Boost Your Blogging
Jean I recently discovered and subscribed to your blog and your posts have been so very helpful and inspiring to me. This post is super! Excuse me, but I’m going back to read through it a second time. Have a wonderful day . . .
Betty Jo recently posted..lizard diet
Hi Betty Jo. I’m glad to meet you and so happy to hear you’re finding the blog helpful too. Thanks for letting me know.
Jean Sarauer recently posted..Why Bite Size is the Right Size Content
Hi Jean,
Thanks for this wonderful post. It’s a breath of fresh air & perspective for the “hall of mirrors” that can develop in my tiny little mind. The idea I’ll take with me is coming back to is my own “true north”.
Eileen O’Shea
Eileen O’Shea recently posted..Macy’s 4th of July Fireworks
Hi Eileen. Yes, being clear on that ‘true north’ and returning to it when we stray, makes blogging a beautiful practice instead of a competitive pursuit.
Jean Sarauer recently posted..Why Bite Size is the Right Size Content
Thanks Jean, it is always good to be reminded of these comparathon. I haven’t done them really while blogging – but probably before starting being ovrewhelmed what you experienced :-) bloggers all achieve. I’ll store this post somewhere in my memory to reach it easily when I start comparing…
Glad you haven’t taken a turn on the comparathon trail yet, Francoise. The less time spent there the better!
Jean Sarauer recently posted..Why Bite Size is the Right Size Content
Forget the comparathon…let’s all join in the inspirathon instead! It’s a much healthier place to be and it takes into account that though others can turn us on with ideas and impress us with success, they can’t actually BE us, so there’s no need to compare, just to get juiced by how great things can be.
Always love to read your posts, Jean…thanks for another inspiring one! :)
Count me in for the inspirathon. We all have so much to contribute to blogging and to the world, so let’s just bring it!
Jean Sarauer recently posted..The Easy Way to Share Your Giveaway Product
Jean
As I read your post I had a cartoon picture in my head of the tortoise and the hare.
You have reminded me that there are benefits to being that tortoise. I can enjoy the journey, smell the flowers, meet people along the way and know in my heart that each day I am making progress.
Thank you Jean – inspirational as always – M
Marion Anderson recently posted..My First Blogging Report Card
Hi Marion. It’s good that you recognize your natural tortoise rhythm and honor that! There is so much to enjoy along the path–whether in blogging or life–and we miss a lot of beauty and lessons if we rush ourselves.
Jean Sarauer recently posted..The Easy Way to Share Your Giveaway Product
Good one Jean! Early on, since getting serious about blogging, I had a quick twinge or two of a feeling like “Oh I wish I were doing this or that already!” but it faded fast. Also, since I redesigned my blog I feel really good about it and sure of where I’m going–slow and steady while I take care of some other stuff.
Whenever I read your posts, though, it makes me think I’ll definitely be getting my other blog going one of these days because I can use a totally different writing style that’s a whole lot more fun! lol
Leah McClellan recently posted..The Slap of Silence
It’s been fun to watch your blog evolve, Leah. It’s turned into a beautiful swan! Having another blog would give me hives, but I can see your point that it would allow creativity to run in a whole new direction.
Jean Sarauer recently posted..The Easy Way to Share Your Giveaway Product
Jean!
How do you do it? Your writing seems to come so effortlessly! I love it.
You have spoken the words in my heart in this article. I work FULL TIME, and STRUGGLE to make the time to blog even once or twice per week, among many other responsibilities. Forget about writing an ebook…..
It’s definitely NOT about catching up to what others have accomplished but enjoying the journey and within the framework of the goals you’ve set for yourself.
I just mess up a lot, Angela, and then I write about it :) If I were working full time and blogging I’d be locked up by now. Really, you’re amazing! I haven’t written an ebook either, by the way. I just tell people now that the material is composting in my brain :)
Jean Sarauer recently posted..How CommentLuv Stole My Heart From Disqus
Welcome to the site Jean. This is great information and very worthwhile. I often tell others not to worry about what everyone else is doing, but to do your personal best.
You can go nuts if you try to compete with others, and try to figure out exactly what they are doing to gain the edge. Most of the time it just comes across as copycatting which will turn out to bite you in the rear anyway.
Aaron recently posted..Free Blogs
Hi Aaron, and thank you for the welcome. I’m really glad to be here. I think if we just get out there, bring our best game, and have fun, that things just work out. Plus, I’m finding that collaborating is a whole lot more fun than competing, and it’s something we all can do!
Jean Sarauer recently posted..How CommentLuv Stole My Heart From Disqus
Hey Jean,
Awesome post! This is a lesson I learned when I use to play baseball. You can never win by comparing yourself again someone else. When you focus on the ability of doing the best you can. Then you will win and surpass the competitors in the long run.
Chat with you later…
Josh
Josh Garcia recently posted..How to Manage Multiple Blogs Successfully
Hi Josh. Great advice for baseball, blogging, and life. If we keep watching everyone else, we’ll miss the ball when it’s pitched to us!
Jean Sarauer recently posted..How CommentLuv Stole My Heart From Disqus
Twitter: weblogbetter
says:
Hi Jean,
Thank you for reminding me that I’m not alone in this comparathon. I don’t get as caught up as I used to, but I still have those “why didn’t I think of that” moments when it comes to writing content. I think I had one when I read the title of this post. :) Awesome post! Very encouraging.
You’re definitely not alone, Kiesha. I catch myself starting down that trail way too often too. Lucky for both of us that the last time it happened I wrote this post :) Thanks again for inviting me to be a part of your team. It’s my privilege.
Jean Sarauer recently posted..How CommentLuv Stole My Heart From Disqus
Too funny, Jean – as I posted a similar discussion today, and your blog is in that post. LOL And there is a post on Copyblogger today talking about popularity and its relationship to content, and how both have to do with success. It’s a good read.
I say, comparing is okay provided it’s done the right way. After all, we all need light houses, and other blogs provide great examples for us.
But yes, being knee-jerk in our strategy and expecting similar results in our own blogging is totally futile. It will get us nowhere but frustrated.
Tia recently posted..Two Cents Tuesday- Some Blogs Get Better with Age
Hi Tia. I knew we were on the same team here, Tia, but I didn’t know we were doing a mind-meld thing ;) I’ll head over your way as soon as finish up the reply. What a great way to look at competition – lighthouses to help lead the way.
Jean Sarauer recently posted..How CommentLuv Stole My Heart From Disqus
Jean, you are ridiculously talented as a writer and a thinker!
Since I’m keenly aware that I am slow paced in my blogging journey, I don’t think about competing. I do however, get a little bummed for a moment – but only for a moment – and then I get inspired.
It is true, if we try to run too fast we may just trip all over ourselves.
Aileen recently posted..It’s Mid-July- Are You Experiencing Summer
Hey, who are you calling ridiculous, Aileen? :) Seriously, thank you for your kind words. Being slow paced has its own rewards. I’ve been that way with writing on-and-off throughout my life and have got an unfinished, dusty novel to prove it. That’s okay though because I savor the process. And that’s what I need to remember to do more of with blogging too.
Jean Sarauer recently posted..How CommentLuv Stole My Heart From Disqus
Hi Jean. Great article. I recently participated in a comparathon and have the dust particles to prove it. What I have come to realize is that everyone truly has their own journey, and it is for me to embrace mine and steadily move forward.
Lisa recently posted..Sometimes it’s the small things that matter most
Hi Lisa. Yeah, I’m shaking some of those dust particles out of my hair too :) Love that you’re embracing your own journey – good message there!
Jean Sarauer recently posted..How CommentLuv Stole My Heart From Disqus
Jean,
Right on with this one. I don’t think it helps when Copyblogger and others write certain posts. In those posts they basically tell you if you’re not getting comments, you’re a loser. Or, if you’re not getting new subscribers…or fan mail…it goes on.
I’ve gotten these things but my blog is not highly commented on. I start to think I’m a loser when I compare myself to the big names. I’ve considered stopping.
If competition helps motivate you, great. But for most of us it leads to comparing and coming up short. In that case, it’s discouraging.
Janet
I hear you, Janet. There are so many external markers for ‘success,’ and running towards those signposts can get us real lost, real quick! I’d have to say I’m much more motivated by collaboration than competition!
Jean Sarauer recently posted..How CommentLuv Stole My Heart From Disqus
Twitter: dragonblogger
says:
Great article Jean, it is ironic that I wrote about this exact same subject myself last night and queued it for the 25th on my blog. I wrote about “When should you quit blogging?” which talks exactly about how to re-prioritize and refocus to help get back on track. Really good article, and who hasn’t felt a little stung when they see a peer or another site that started much more recently yet skyrocket past their own blog in popularity.
Justin Germino recently posted..MyLikes Black Ninja Update
Hi Justin. Great minds think alike, eh? :) It’s funny how sometimes we get that feeling we’ve someone ‘lost’ something when we see someone else doing well. It’s such an untruth, yet we’re all susceptible to that. We humans are sort of goofy :)
Jean Sarauer recently posted..How CommentLuv Stole My Heart From Disqus
Okay, Jean, I’m not going to be jealous of your writing ability, your traffic, your subscribers, your guest posts, your amazing personality, your connections, etc. :-)
Just kidding, but seriously, I think we all feel that way sometimes, especially people who have been blogging for a while and haven’t found their groove yet. It’s not a competition with a limited pie. Besides, we’ve all seen people burn out quickly when they can’t handle the pace. Sometimes you just have to take a step back, don’t take things personally, and get some perspective. The internet is HUGE and it may seem like the other bodacious blogger is screaming past you, but as you said, everyone has their own journey and their own pace. Embrace and accept that, and those feelings will go away.
Karen
Karen recently posted..4 Best And Worst Things About Being An Entrepreneur – Guest Post
Hi Karen. We definitely all have our turn at the jealousy/comparathon thing. I sure do. Taking time to regain our lost perspective is a huge help. ‘Unplugging’ really helps me too. I spent some time outside under the stars last night, just sitting by a fire and enjoying the sounds of a summer night. It’s in times and places like that where I really get a grip on what matters to me, and it’s sure not numbers or a bunch of paper.
Jean Sarauer recently posted..How CommentLuv Stole My Heart From Disqus
Hi Jean!
Yes, I have run this race a few times. Like, I saw a nice blog design. I rushed back to my blog and tried to make some changes..I’m no coder. It did nothing, but make me frustrated. So I decided to keep it simple and focus on writing content. Now, I am over that and the dust has settled. :)
It is hard enough trying to keep up with self, let alone someone else.
Great post and take care!
-Evelyn
Evelyn recently posted..Got Gas Check Your Food Combination
Keeping it simple and focusing on content . . . now that’s a winning combination and the true route to sanity. I’ll follow you down that road anytime, Evelyn.
Jean Sarauer recently posted..How CommentLuv Stole My Heart From Disqus
So the world won’t run out of subscribers! Phew! I wish someone had told me that a few days ago when I was worrying about all the prolific bloggers who seem to find time to post 4 times a week and hold down day jobs. What’s up with that? Your post takes my mind madness softly by the hand and gives it a nice padded room in which to vent and get better. Ahhh, all better. Thanks Jean.
Katie recently posted..5 Simple Ways to Embrace the Bliss of Less
Yeah, that was news to me too about the subscribers, Katie. I thought we were doomed for sure if we didn’t snag them all by next Tuesday :)
I have no clue how anyone can hold down a ‘regular’ job and post so often. I think there’s a 12-step program for folks with that issue . . .
Jean Sarauer recently posted..How CommentLuv Stole My Heart From Disqus
Twitter: weblogbetter
says:
I’m guilty. When I started having dreams about blogging, I knew I needed rehab…Thanks for coming to the rescue!
My pleasure :) I’m so happy to be a part of this team!
Jean Sarauer recently posted..How CommentLuv Stole My Heart From Disqus
Twitter: indblog
says:
I learnt a long time ago to not look at what my neighbouring bloggers are doing. I would spend ages scouring their blogs wondering why they were doing better than me and it hit me one day that if I want to acheive anything I need to put some blinkers on and concentrate on my own blogs more.
Dean Saliba recently posted..Recycling Old Content
We’ve all been there, Dean. But you’re right–we aren’t going to achieve anything when we’re not focusing on our own work. As my grandma used to say, “Jean, you need to hoe your own row!” She was a smart one!
Jean Sarauer recently posted..How CommentLuv Stole My Heart From Disqus
Uh-uh, did you say “prolific posting” – Hum, I only post twice a week just for the record ;) …not that you are talking about me or anything but just in case! LOL! Jean, you are one creative story-teller. I loved this post and I will especially be sure to read it BEFORE I go to blogworld (or blog-o-plooza as Andy calls it) because I know it will be full of competition, which is the very thing I wanted to get away from in corporate world :)! THANK YOU for the brilliant perspective as always!!!!
Farnoosh recently posted..Recounting my Vegan Diet- The first 20 Days
Haha, Farnoosh. You caught me! Seriously, I think we are much more powerful running the course together than taking the comparathon trail, so no worries there :) Now, time to get to work on that ‘Why I’m not Going to Blogapalooza,’ article . . .
Jean Sarauer recently posted..How CommentLuv Stole My Heart From Disqus
Oh that’s a great post ! I may just do that :)! Thank you thank you!!
Farnoosh recently posted..Recounting my Vegan Diet- The first 20 Days