Productivity is probably one of the more popular topics for bloggers of every flavor. It’s a good thing. After all, the internet has a way of taking over your life.
I’ve assembled this guide for those of you who love living dangerously. In fact, I don’t actually or officially recommend you do anything on this list. If you lose your job after implementing it, I will personally tell your boss that you were a moron for listening to me.
Nonetheless, these are some things I’ve thought about doing, and you probably have too. The list is brief, insane, and professionally treacherous…
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- Delete all of your mail. The important stuff will come back to your attention… eventually.
- Delete all the feeds you read and all of your bookmarks too.
- Delete all of your social networking profiles, starting with Twitter and Facebook.
- Don’t surf the net to laugh at the funny, but sad failures of others.
- Hire a virtual assistant to go to work for you.
- Buy templates for conversations with your spouse, or really improve your marriage with premium conversation themes!
- Use your internet browser’s security settings to block the internet. All of it – especially Youtube.
- Read Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity. (aff link)
- Stop reading so many books and get something done.
- Shred all of your snail mail. The important stuff will ruin your credit… eventually.
- Get up earlier and stay up later.
- Outsource your sleeping.
- Outsource your eating.
- May as well outsource your exercise and general well-being too.
- Hire a virtual assistant to go back to school for you so you can get a better job doing less.
- Delete voicemails instead of listening to them. Losing friends means more time for getting things done.
- Outsource going to the bathroom.
- Eat less fiber and more cheese. In two days, you’ll understand how this saves time.
- Try cloning. *
- Outsource your outsourcing… to a virtual assistant.
- Stop laughing out loud at supid pictures of cats.
- Stop reading so many blog posts about how to get things done (like this one) and go get something done.
* I object to cloning.
What else?
About Brandon Cox
The virtual assistant got an idea after reading number 20: To “Outsource the outsourcing you outsour…. Outsourcing your outsourced outsourci…” I give up! Should’ve listened to Robert’s 23..
Steve recently posted..How to make the most of out your chinese virtual assistant
Precisely! Giving up saves you lots of time! :)
This is funny but oh so scary at the same time. That’s where throttles come in.
Absolutely!
Hahaha, this was great! This will make things so much easier for all the bloggers out there! I’m just wondering where to get this money to hire all of these virtual assistants? Maybe hire a VA to make money for you?
.-= Android´s last blog ..Android 2.1 Coming to Motorola Droid This Week! =-.
Yes, and make your profit off the outsourcing.
Twitter: AlisonMSmith
says:
Genius, Brandon. I was hoping for “stop blogging” in there as well.
FWIW, I am a big David Allen fan. Been following his method for years. :)
.-= Alison Moore Smith´s last blog ..7 Things You Must Avoid When Choosing Your WordPress Theme =-.
Gonna show my ignorance here and reveal that I don’t know who David Allen is, but will check him out.
Haha this is great. I’m actually considering doing the first 2 though. Seriously! And the bookmarking one. I never revisit bookmarks. Am I crazy? :P
.-= Sarge | BeginnerBlogger.com´s last blog ..Are Do-Follow Blogs Creating Dishonesty? [Thoughts] =-.
Yes… yes you are. :)
Brandon,
“Buy templates for conversations with your spouse, or really improve your marriage with premium conversation themes!”
This sounds promising. Where can I buy these? ;)
Brad
.-= Brad Harmon´s last blog ..My Proven Client Referral System – Part 1 =-.
You get them at dont-tell-your-spouse-where-you-got-that-suggestion.net. ;)
Twitter: weblogbetter
says:
LOL! In other words just ignore all your responsbilities and you find that you have more time for your responsibilites? I feel like a moron at the end of the day after spending an entire day in front of my computer…like now. I should’ve been in bed an hour ago. :)
.-= Kiesha @ Highly Favored´s last blog ..He’s speaking – are you listening? =-.
You’re not alone in that, but seriously, outsource your sleep and it won’t be a problem! :)
Great stuff Brandon!!!!!
I came here to learn something and I did, off to outsource my outsourcing now! LOL
.-= Keith´s last blog ..Need-Information.com Is Moving =-.
At ‘a way, young padawan!!
Wow. I’m don’t even know how to respond to this one. Why did you put “stop reading productivity posts” last? If that was the first one I could have clicked away and saved my time.
.-= Nicholas Cardot´s last blog ..Lessons to Learn from Beautiful Websites =-.
Muwhaha!!!
quite a funny list ….let me add one
burn your laptop ,iphone and anything that can help you access the web
Absolutely!!
Hmm… do I dare comment?
how about this one:
23. Stop commenting on blog posts.
Perfect!!